Well, Christmas this year was far from the usual dysfunctional disaster it has been in previous times. Not that I didn't give it my All-American effort...
My all-around gift to everyone to the families was a print of my Eleventh Doctor portrait, fully framed, just right for the empty spot in the attic. It matches well with the official stuffed Sarah Palin's Alaska polar bear. You know, the one with the bloody bullet hole in its forehead?
I won't go into the circumstances of the booty getting, other than that, for the most part, everything I predicted bore out. But that's okay... I'm so much more into the giving part of things than I am in the getting. I'd just as soon not get anything for Christmas, as it just doesn't seem to be the point of the whole holiday. And besides, nobody likes shopping for me, especially the in-laws. They don't wanna have to explain to the youngsters why Uncle Mark is getting cooler toys than they are.
"Wahhhh! Uncle Mark got the Spider-Man action figure with the kung fu grip and web shooters and all I got was a Star Wars toy! Why? Whyyyyy????"
'Cuz I'm cooler than you kid. Now, sheddup!
Another reason is is that both sides of my family either fear, or have no understanding of how, to shop online. If they did, all their Christmas shopping for me would be done in no time and I could direct them to places where they could save a bundle. Now, the fear part I can understand. Both sides of my family have had encounters with identity theft, the worst case being my brother's wife. She's still dealing with the reprecussions of an encounter a few years ago that still rears its ugly head now and then. I myself had someone hack into our account a couple of years ago and nearly wipe us out (fortunately my bank saw the red flags and took all the necessary steps so we didn't lose anything). But I find there's just as much risk, and perhaps more, of doing in person transactions with a debit card as much as there is on the net. One way or another, there's always a chance the horse is gonna throw ya. The best thing to do is brush yourself off and get back in that saddle.
But I can't seem to convince them to just try it out. Save a little money. Find a bigger variety of items out there. At any rate, if you just go down to the graphic novel section the local Waldenbooks at the mall, I can give you a list and various 40% off coupons. Somehow, I still get the perennial sweaters, pants, socks, undies, and more aftershave, cologne, and deodorant than a man would need in three lifetimes. I'm not that offensive....